Hope in the Rain.

She stood by the edge of the shop, you know, the corner where the sheets are barely enough to cover you but still do a sufficient job to guard you from the weather. She looked at her feet, new suede shoes about to get ruined because the man next to her insisted on taking on extra space to express himslef with his hands. She tried to squeeze in with the rest, pushing them in to guard herself from the rain.

“Excuse me!” hissed the man turning on her. “We won’t get crammed up like this. You either share the space or buy an umbrella and walk on.”

There was a silence now in the crowd hurdling against the rain. In her head she could hear the black lady shout, “Oh no you did-n’t!!”, but in real sense, she knew she was too meek to do anything. She just coughed and looked the other way. She could feel the man size her up from head to toe, then he turned back to his friend and went on with his conversation.

Beans. He was talking about beans, how baked beans tasted way better than home cooked beans. He wanted her to get wet as he needed space to move his hands talking about beans! Who on earth would be in a crowded space, where there were little or no whispers, and you knew everyone was listening, and you decided to talk about beans? Since when did beans become more important than her new suede boots?

She sighed as she tried to hold back her tears. Today marked five months and three days since Ray left. She had locked herself from the world and begun a routine life. Work, home, cook, clean, sleep. Work, home, cook, clean, sleep. And the occasional sappy movie that would remind her of the love she lost. She drank a lot of vodka then. And ice cream, lots of it. Luckily the depression helped cut back the weight.

Her friends had abandoned her. Or should she say she shut them out. They were all happy, and she was the dark cloud that hovered with around, raining all day. She needed some space so she locked herself home. She wouldn’t let anyone in. Until today.

Her hope and desire to be human again had popped up today. She was home, ready for a re-run of Julia Robert movies when she got an email from Ray. He was checking up on her, said he had moved on. Said he met a girl, her name was Angela, and that he was taking her to meet his parents. Said they were friends beyond anything else and that he wanted her to hear it from him. He said he was going to marry her the following year. She was a receptionist. She, a qualified gynecologist, was losing Ray to a receptionist. And Ray said she was two months pregnant, and if there was anyone he could trust with the well being of her baby, it was her. Ray wanted his ex to become the doctor to the receptionist.

That’s when it hit her. For months, she had been home mopping over someone who never thought of her once, until he needed a favor. That was Ray. Their relationship was never about her, it was always about what Ray wanted. She wanted to go for dinner, he wanted to stay indoors -Ray won. She wanted a puppy, Ray said it was too much commitment. She wanted to meet his family, he said his parents would be too judgmental. She wanted a Bettle, he felt a Ford would be better, she bought the Ford- alone!

And now, he wanted a cheap or free gynecologist in her. He used her, dumped her, and now wanted to reuse her.

She remembers going into the closet and picking out the shirt he forgot. She tore it up viciously and grabbed a pillow, put it in her mouth and screamed her lungs out. That scream brought her back to reality. She called Judy, her best friend from way back when, and told her to meet at a nearby coffee shop.

She showered, did her hair, put on a bit of make up and her new shoes. She left the house hoping for a new change, a fresh start, until she met Mr. Flamboyant Beans and the rain.

Maybe the weather was a sign. Maybe this unfriendly man was a sign of what the world had in store for her, maybe she was not ready for it all.

She wanted to run back home now but the rain wouldn’t let her. Plus she was only two minutes away from the coffee shop. Judy would be angry if she cancelled on her now.

Music always helped. She pulled out her phone and earpieces. her cord was tangled. In the untangling process, her phone slipped off her hands and fell to the ground. As she bent to pick it, water from the roof poured on her hair. Things could definitely not get worse than this, she thought.

As she stood up, she looked across the street and  saw a lady having an equally bad day. She wore a short white dress, no jacket and one of her heels had just broken off. she had a newspaper to cover her hair as she walked to her car, but the wind was so strong it blew the paper off her hand. At the same time, a second round of wind came up and blew her dress up. She had on a thong, and everyone could tell a waxing was long overdue.

The lady just stood there and raised her hands, as if embracing the rain. She was smiling now. She the pulled her dress down and bent to take off her shoes. She then gracefully walked to her car smiling.

“It doesn’t get shittier than this!”she shouted as she got into her car.

At that moment, Christine realized that her life was good, it was her perception that needed changing.

Christine watched her as she drove off and smiled. That rained on woman  didn’t know it, but her shittiest moment was a life changer in Christine’s life.

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